Road Rage vs. Road Rapture
In the Austin area we all have to sit in traffic. Even with the new toll roads to help relieve the congestion on Mopac and I-35, it's still a sea of cars. If you are swimming in that sea of cars, it can take hours for you to get to your destination.
- Make sure you leave in plenty of time so you don't have to try to rush on the road to "make up time".
- Build in time for delays. Take a book to read or work with you that you can do when you arrive at your destination early.
When you put on your turn signal, you will often notice that the drivers around you do not always let you into "their" lane. If you are able to send them a "please" signal like a smile and an open cheerful facial expression, you are much more likely to get someone to slow down and let you in.
This makes sense based on our needs for personal space. When you are standing in the ticket line at a movie theater and someone wants to cross the line of people they have this ritual. They come up, smile, say "excuse me" and wait for us to move back. At least if they "do it right." If they do the ritual, we are usually happy to step back and let them pass.
When we are driving we have a need for the same type of polite behavior to motivate us to move back and "let them in". The problem in this modern day of super-fast highways jammed with cars, is that there is no time for the "please" signals. Drivers end up pushing their way in between cars or jumping between lanes at high speeds like they were playing a video game.
When drivers jump in without giving the proper "please" signals the driver usually has one of two reactions, fear or anger. Drivers are afraid that those who "cut them off" are dangerous and have put their life in jeopardy. Drivers are angry that the other person threatened their life with their reckless driving.
Some people curse, bang the steering wheel, yell, or make threatening or obscene gestures. Some people use their car in an aggressive manner to retaliate, by honking the horn loud and long, by tailgating, or by getting ahead of the offending driver and slamming on the brakes. A few people follow the offending driver and punch or shoot them when they stop the car.
If someone shows rage at you, ignore them and go about your business. The more you react the more you put yourself and the people around you at risk. If someone in a rage state follows you, call the police or go to a station and tell them what's happening. There are laws now against road rage behaviors.
All of this is the result of one person "invading the space" of another person. Let's talk about different ways to handle these tough situations.
This is something I'm calling "Road Rapture". It's a fun game that could save your life or the lives of people around you.
Okay, first imagine that everyone on the road around you is someone you love, like your mom or dad, brother, sister, child, or dog (not driving -- as a passenger!). This exercise reminds you that when you are driving, it is your job to care about the safety of the people around you, just like you would your favorite loved ones.
Second, imagine that when they do something "stupid" or dangerous that they made an honest mistake, just like you do from time to time. This exercise reminds you that when you are driving to expect others to make mistakes, and to look for ways to help everyone stay safe when a mistake occurs.
Third, drive as well as you can so other people don't get mad at your driving.
Fourth, make the apology signs when you do make a mistake so other people forgive you quickly and go about their business.
Fifth, go for bonus points. Look for ways to help other people have a better time on the road. Look for at least two "good deeds" you can do on any daily commute. For example, look for when people want in "your" lane, and let them in right away! Look for trouble spots in the roads, when drivers might need your eagle eyes the most. Places like intersections, forced turn lanes, and places where the number of lanes decrease. These spots will need your good deeds the most, because people make the majority of mistakes when they are confused or are in a hurry.
If you can work on focusing your mind on steps one through four, you will have a much better time on the road. If you practice all five steps when you are behind the wheel, you may just get to experience "Road Rapture".
Good luck, and happy driving!